10 things before 10am

My morning routine as a mama, writer, and researcher

I wear a lot of hats:

Mother, wife, business owner, writer, independent researcher (plus lunch-packer, laundress, sock-wrangler, chauffer, dance mom, etc). My kids are in school part-time, so there are some days when the morning is the only time I get to myself, and if you know me, you know I absolutely need time to myself. It keeps me sane. It keeps me grounded. It keeps me kind to my family and friends.

The morning is also when I get my creative time. My prayer time. My quiet time to connect with my inner voice amongst the chaos of a young family and owning a business. I feel like if I wake up at the same time as everyone else, I’m already behind. I like to feel grounded, awake, and creatively nourished by the time everyone else wakes up.

Most mornings, I wake up between 5-5:15. In the summer this is much easier because it’s actually light out, but in the winter I sometimes need some extra encouragement to draw me out of bed. This is where my morning routine comes in. It’s something I really look forward to.

That first cup of coffee, the quiet house, the words that (sometimes) flow when I have nothing to distract me. It’s how I nourish my creativity, connect to God, and root back into the research & writing projects I’m really excited about.

Here’s a little glimpse into my morning routine. It can vary a bit depending on the season, but this is generally what it looks like. I do really well when I have structure but some flexibility. Without the flexibility, my brain decides that the routine is arbitrary and revolts against it, so it’s my trick to stay consistent and have structure.

Also just a heads up, at the end of this, I’d love to hear about your morning routine. The little things that set you up for the day to feel grounded, steady, and replenished

Ok, let’s dive in. Here’s how I start nearly every morning as a mother of two girls, writer, business owner, and independent historical researcher.

1. Lemon & Olive Oil shot - The idea of sipping warm lemon water or downing a full glass of water first thing in the morning makes me nauseous, though I do try to have a few sips of the water I brought to bed the night before. There are all manner of health claims associated with the lemon/olive oil shot including liver-cleansing, improved digestion, and glowing skin. Is the science really there to back it up? No. Do I do it anyway because I’m all for traditional medicine? Yes. And I figure it can’t hurt. It’s an easy way to get antioxidants and healthy fats into my system right away. All so that I can have my…

2. Coffee - Yes, I drink coffee before having food. I used to feel guilty about it, like the Wellness Girlies^TM would come after me, but I’ve since decided that I don’t care. My first cup of coffee (yes I have more than one each day) in silence is what draws me out of bed and I tend to eschew wellness trends these days anyway including the recommended amount of protein I’m supposed to consumer and ounces of water I’m supposed to drink. I do my best to listen to my body and do what makes me happy. In this case, that’s coffee before doing anything else.

   

   Photo by Deborah Diem on Unsplash

   What’s that you say? You want to know more about my coffee? I’m so glad you asked. Most days it consists of:

   • 2 shots of espresso

   • frothed almond milk + 2 tbsp heavy cream (this is the magic right here)

   • flower essences

   • reishi powder blended in (I use this one)

   I cozy up on the couch with my coffee, blanket, and journal to do my…

3. Morning Pages - Ok, I don’t always do morning pages, but most days I do. I haven’t discovered a better way to clear mental fog and connect with my inner voice. Sometimes, I come up against resistance to doing the three pages, but those are the days when I most need to. It makes all the writing that comes after so much easier. Doing this before being taken over by the day is my key to getting out of writer’s block, knowing what I want to say, diffusing emotional tension, and moving stagnation out of my body and brain.

4. Prayer - Morning has always been a time of prayer and meditation for me. My spiritual path has been a winding one, leading me through Buddhist meditation, embodiment practices, and more. Over the past 9 months though, I’ve reconnected with Christianity, and more through the lens of the early Christians and Christian mystics. The Lectio 365 app has been really helpful in cultivating a rhythm for myself. I’ve also been into Julian of Norwich lately, so have been spending some time with her writing in the morning too.

   

   Photo by Meg Jenson on Unsplash

5. Write, read, note-taking - This is the meat of my morning work. There are days when the girls are home and I don’t get anything else done for my “work” except for an Instagram post, so this morning time becomes even more vital for connecting with my work. Sometimes that’s working on a Substack post, sometimes it’s working on my novel, sometimes it’s reading and taking notes on a particular source I’m interested in. I decide the night before what I’m going to work on so that it isn’t up to my morning brain to decide, but I’ll admit sometimes my morning brain calls an audible and I shift to something else. I always make time for this though because writing and research is a priority right now and I know I might not get it at any other time of the day.

6. Morning snuggles - My girls usually wake up between 6:30-7. They come downstairs, curl up on the couch with me, and we have some morning snuggles. I love starting their day slowly. Right now they’re young and I know our lives will only get fuller, so as much as possible I want to lean into this time to make it warm, peaceful, and sweet. Does the entire day go this way? Absolutely not. But connecting with them with warm hugs is my favorite way to start the day with them.

7. Breakfast - We shift pretty quickly to breakfast, which they help make. I don’t always make us all the same thing, it depends on the day. I’ve been prioritizing a ketogenic diet for myself to help manage fibromyalgia symptoms, so that usually includes eggs and butter or avocado. In the summer I include some fresh fruit. I don’t count macros or calories, I eat what sounds good and what my body asks for.

8. Unload dishwasher - After we eat, the girls clear their dishes and I help them unload the dishwasher. They (mostly) love being helpful and I’m gradually passing more chores off to them. My oldest especially loves having tasks that she takes responsibility for. I run the dishwasher every night so we can unload it and then load dishes throughout the day so they don’t pile up.

9. Shower, skincare & dressed - I make it a point to get dressed in what I call “real clothes.” After years of teaching yoga and living in yoga pants, I have a lot of resistance to wearing stretchy pants in my day-to-day. I love choosing an outfit, doing my skincare, and getting ready for the day. On bad flare days, I do sometimes choose stretchy or looser clothing, but in general I’m a jeans-and-nautical-striped-shirt kinda gal.

   

   My current favorite of our hydrosols

10. Laundry - This is the chore that is truly neverending. I do at least one load of laundry per day to stay on top of it, even if it’s just a load of sheets or towels. I really can’t stand piles of clothes, so I do my best to fold it and put it away right away, sometimes with the girls’ help. But getting the load started in the morning helps move the process along and gives me that checking-the-box dopamine hit.

What I love about my morning routine is that if everything else goes to sh*t, I still feel like a) I did what I could to set us up well and b) I prayed, I read, I wrote, and I loved on my kids. I do know that when the mother is nourished and her well is full, she’s able to tend to the proverbial village. I feel like the best version of myself when I cultivate discipline around these practices. I show up more steady, more connected, and more able to guide rather than react to whatever’s going on around me.

What about you? Do you have any little rituals that make your day go as smoothly as possible? How do you set yourself up to be your best self? Let me know in the comments!

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